Seventy One and Fun!

I attended a conference in the Washington, D.C area last week.  The conference leader told us that he asked indigenous people from parts of South America to speak to our organization for another conference this coming October in Bogota, Columbia.  The first question they asked, “will you listen to us?”  “Yes, of course”, he replied.   They all said, “Let’s start with this.  You don’t live the good life because you are too busy chasing a better life”.  Those words entered my ears and exploded in my head.  You see, I don’t know many people who even think about what constitutes a good life, let alone realize that they are living it.

So the question is “what is a good life”.  To me a good life consists of having friends and family who love you, loving them in return, having healthy and nourishing food and drink, decent housing, clothing, reliable transportation, health care and educational opportunities and of course, an enjoyable job where you can earn the income to support all of the above. 

What is the better life that we seem to be chasing?  Here’s one version:  Having better friends in higher places and a more perfect family (as defined by advertising and media images)?  Validating that they love you by their actions and withholding your love until you see that validation?  Having access to the best of gourmet foods and the finest wines that money can buy (once again as defined by popular culture’s standards)?  Having a larger home with more upgrades and modern conveniences like flat screen TV’s in every room and marble counter tops on kitchen cabinets made from exotic woods?  An S500 Mercedes in your garage parked next to a Porsche that you only use on weekends?  Going to a premium priced doctor in a concierge practice and having access to all of the world’s best hospitals and specialists on demand?  Having the means to send all of your children to the best Eastern schools?  And a position that pays at least a million a year after taxes; with unlimited benefits?

I know it sounds ridiculous.  But where are our benchmarks?  Where along the spectrum of possibilities do we say, “I have enough to live a good life”?  I’m not saying we shouldn’t want to improve our circumstances if we can.  I am asking how much of our good lives do we ignore to chase something better?

The vast majority of people who will read this column live luxurious lives by comparison to the rest of the people in the planet.  I’m sure some will say, “it’s not up to him to determine what is enough for me”.  Absolutely!  I’m not trying to set anyone’s standards.  I’m asking, do you ever sit still for a minute and say, “you know what, I live a good life.  If I never improved a single thing about my life, it would be very satisfying”.

So much pain and suffering is created by the myth of “more and better”.  That’s the story about how if I just have one more “thing”, I will be happy.  If I just had “better” friends I would be fulfilled.  The one thing we need to be happy and fulfilled is a realization that we already have a good life and that no matter how much striving we do, material goods or “better” friends won’t make it any better.

Well, you must be asking why did I title this column, “Fun at 71”?  Because it has taken me most of those 71 years to come to the realization that I have had and still have a good life.  Finally, I can just have fun.  I don’t want or need anything more or better.  But just for the record, I do look better driving a Mercedes while I'm dressed in a Joseph Abboud suit.

Robert DeFilippis