It’s that time again

My New Year’s resolution is to watch more Woody Allen movies. That does seem strange, doesn’t it? But I have my reasons. Woody’s whole shtick is making fun of his own neuroses. He sees himself and his emotional hang ups without turning away. This means that he’s pretty self-aware. Now, this may be a surprise to many readers. And it’s not an easy thing to understand, especially if you’re not that self-aware. And you don’t think that you have any emotional hang-ups. So here’s a first lesson on becoming self-aware. Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Think of someone you like very much. Then think of what you like about them. Write that down. Now think of someone you don’t like very much. Then think about what you don’t like about them. Write that down. You now have a clear list of what you like and don’t like about yourself. Now that wasn’t very difficult was it? This is the first step to becoming a happier person: accentuate your positive and forgive and diminish your negative attributes. Find those things you like about others and do more of them yourself. Find those things you don’t like about others, forgive yourself and try to eliminate them from your own personality. Or if you don’t like anyone, just do the negative list. You’re going to discover that you have a lot of hang-ups. You see, hang-ups have a lot to do with expectations of other people. I don’t know exactly when we develop our expectations. I think it happens during our early childhood years. From that point on, our expectations of the world and others simply serve to upset us. You must have noticed by now that nothing and no one in the world worries too much about your expectations - except maybe you. Now, you more suspicious readers are probably saying to yourself, “I know what’s right and wrong and how people should act and the world should work. “Is he proposing relative ethics?” The answer to that is no. I do believe that there are absolute rights and wrongs. And I do believe in trying to live a virtuous life as guided by most religions in the world. I do believe in trying to meet my own standards each and every day of my life. But I also know that I will never do it perfectly - and neither will anyone else on the planet. I have found some personal peace in letting go of my expectations of other people. I can’t do it well all the time. Sometimes I can’t do it all. But when I catch myself becoming upset and then self-righteous, I realize that someone is doing exactly what I don’t like about me. I can’t do much about the other person’s behaviors but I can do a lot about mine. Here’s a final tip for the new year. We are probably most critical of others when we get behind the steering wheel of our cars. You know what I mean. Someone in traffic does something that aggravates you. Like maybe running through a traffic light when its yellow. Instead of screaming out loud, take note and then watch yourself do the same thing three lights later. Let this little exercise remind you of all the times that you find someone doing something that you don’t like about your own behavior. And remember Shakespeare, “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women are players”. Your world is your play and unfortunately the actors don’t always play their roles as you would like them. That’s because you’re writing the lines as you go. So relax and enjoy the entertainment this year. Or if you are more adventuresome, watch more Woody Allen movies. You might learn something new about yourself. Oh - and eat more fruits and vegetables.